Cafe Identity Crisis

Now is the portion of the blog where we highlight some of the community’s standout local businesses.  I want to remind my reader (yes, there is only one of you) that they don’t pay me any money to say these things, because they pay me in gift cards instead. hahaha

Seriously though, my favorite café in Beijing is experiencing a bit of an identity crisis.  It just added its third name to the sign outside.  The place is now called “Beetle in the Box”, “Former Waiting for Godot (Chinglish)”, and “LP”.  For the sake of simplicity, I will just refer to it as Beetle in the Box, or the Beetle for short.  The interior of this place certainly doesn’t make the Beijing air anymore breathable, but that only adds to the ambiance of the place.  The walls are lined with American and European LP’s from the 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s, including a copy of Weird Al’s Eat It that always makes me smile. 

My roommate and I frequently go to the café to play Chinese chess.  I’ve spent hours in this place during my afternoons.  The owner has an affinity for antique AV equipment, and they play old American films and music.  I gotta compliment them on their taste in music and movies too.  No real theme exists except for the concept of “if we like it, we use it”, and this is more than alright with me. 

The Beetle goes to show that not having a distinct identity can be an identifying characteristic.  And that good atmosphere can go a long way.        

South Korea's Got "Seoul" Part I: DMZ

These are some photos from my to Seoul earlier this month.  Most of these are from my trip to the DMZ.  I have decided to forgo the usual format of my blog and just post some photos with captions.  Also, I have been really tired and lazy this week, so this is all you are going to get.

Cowboy boot shop in central Seoul....badass  

Korean War Memorial

M4 outside of the Korean War Memorial Museum 

Replica of Douglas MacArthur's pipe.

View from Seoul Tower II.  Notice the shadow

View from Seoul Tower III

JSA: Notice the grey North Korean building in the background

I am technically inside North Korea.  Notice the South Korean border guard in front of the door.

US soldier and ROK border guard

The concrete slab represents the border.
I am on the North Korean side.

ROK guard.  I think the table is the same table where the armistice was signed (don't quote me on that)

A view inside the DPRK from the ROK.  Notice the tall flagpole.

Train station to nowhere

The bridge of no return into North Korea.

Commemorative plaque. 

Train station sign showing the distance from Seoul and the North Korean capital.  

Chinese "Office Space"

Unintentional comedy abounds when you are the only person in your office from outside mainland China.  I over exaggerate.  Truthfully, it is normally about as funny attending a funeral, and about as exciting as watching snails race, but that is just office life.  Despite this, I found myself asking some interesting questions during my first few weeks on the job.  I stress that I have only worked in one office in mainland China and that these questions only reflect my personal feelings and are in no way generalizations about Chinese office culture.  So here are nine important questions and answers about Chinese office culture.  In the true spirit of the Middle Kingdom, I couldn’t think of a tenth one, so I just didn’t include it. 

    

1.     How come no one every talks to anyone….ever?

I have found my office to be extremely quiet.  This is impressive considering all of us work in one giant room.  I don’t know if it is some kind of cultural difference, because I don’t want to break the silence and ask anyone…..( joke)

2.     Why am I the only person that ever shows up on time?

When 8:30 rolls around and I look around the office, I notice something is missing.  It just happens to be my fellow coworkers.  The company gives us a flexible ½ hour (8:30-9:00), but the vast majority of employees don’t show up before 9:30.  This cultural difference also affects social life.  As you can imagine, I have started lying to friends about the starting time of events so they show up on time.  It takes some adjustment to get used to, but you eventually learn to adapt.

    

3.     Were all my coworkers that I was told were “fired” actually fired, or did some of them quit?

I don’t know the answer to this, but it is certainly one of the crazier aspects of working in China.  The turnover rate for employees would make the head of any HR rep back in America explode.  Since I started my job, six people have been hired and five of them have been fired.  That is an 83% attrition rate for new employees.  One guy didn’t even make it two weeks.  I returned from vacation a few weeks ago to learn that two of my desk neighbors had got the axe.  Truthfully, I suspect some just quit, but no one will give me details. 

4.     So, it’s cool to sleep at work?

Yes…Yes it is.  How long and when is up to you.  I have one coworker averaging two hours a day, but to be fair, he’s friends with the boss.  I have started scheduling my phone calls around my 2pm siesta.    

5.     Can someone please explain the Holiday working schedules for me?

Hooray, I get a five day vacation.  Wrong, you’ll be making some of those days up by working on the weekend.  That’s right; it’s less of a vacation and more of reshuffling of the workweek.  Make sure to check the official government website for details.  Then triangulate that information with at least two other government websites.  Odds are the information would add up, but whatever man.  What do you think this is America?   

6.     Why does everyone try to bullshit everything all the time?  Can’t they just say that they don’t know the answer?

My unfamiliarity with the concept of “face” made my first few weeks in China difficult.  I’d ask a question about Chinese culture or day-to-day life only to have a Chinese friend make-up an answer.  I’d embarrass myself later by repeating what I was told to someone else.  I realized that my friend subscribed to the tradition of “saving face”, and he considered it less humiliating to lie than to say he didn’t know something about Asian culture.  (see future blog post for more…..)  It is easy to adjust to this cultural difference, but hard to keep from abusing these situations for their comedic value.   

7.     None of my male coworkers care about sports.  So why do they all claim to love the Miami Heat or a successful European soccer club?

I have two short answers and a long one:

1.     Bandwagon fans are everywhere, because people like winners

2.     Many Chinese sports fans consider Chinese sport teams “inferior” to western teams, and talent wise this might be true.    

Long Answer:  A younger more idealistic me arrived in Beijing ready to support the local soccer team, Beijing Guoan.  It didn’t take long to find out that many Beijingers don’t give a shit about Guoan, and view the Chinese Super League with distain.  Most of those that hold this opinion love a successful western team, expressing their love by buying lots of gaudy and expensive merchandise.  It slowly dawned on me that many sports teams have become global brands not unlike Nike or Adidas.  If I had a dollar for every piece of Manchester United paraphernalia I have seen in this country, I’d be a millionaire.  It is truly funny considering their relative lack of success this year.     

  

8.     Do we get “smog days”?

No, but that would be badass. 

9.  What is up with the Chinese fascination with Taiwan (besides the obvious)? 

Aside from the obvious pre and post Chinese Civil War links between the mainland and Taiwan, there are several reasons mainlanders dream of visiting the island.  Ask any normal Chinese citizen, who is not rich enough to get a visa, and many will tell you that they want to visit Taiwan.  Truthfully, I am not even going to attempt to analyze this complicated relationship, but I will leave you with this quote.  Some of the more open mainlanders have told me, “If you want to see well-preserved, traditional Chinese culture, go to Taiwan.”  I was shocked by this statement the first time I heard it.  I definitely plan to find out if it is true.  

Freaking Out the Neighborhood

Note: The title comes from a song by Mac Demarco, a musician (that I'd never heard of before) who I saw play the Mao Live House a few months back.

I cannot say enough good things about my apartment and the area where I live.  I won’t say exactly where I live, because I like having both of my kidneys inside of body.  However, I will say that it’s near the Beixinqiao subway station.  The neighborhood is at the intersection of Beijing’s two coolest neighborhoods, Gulou and Lama Temple.  I know what you are going to ask…What makes it so cool?  The short answer is proximity.  It is centrally located near restaurants (Chinese and non-Chinese), bars, and night clubs, and cultural destinations.  Don’t want to brag but I made Monday’s Good Morning Beijing blog post of The Beijinger.  I went and watched the NFL playoffs, at 4am mind you, at a local hutong bar, called Cuju, very close to my house.  However, the bottomless coffee proved more dangerous than any form of booze.  I drank so much coffee that at one point time literally stopped.  The proceeding 12 hours passed in a matter of seconds, and Einstein’s theory of time’s relativity was proven before my eyes. 

The point is….I was able to wake up at 4am and walk there, have a goodtime, and come home and get to work on time.  Coming from a suburban wasteland, the idea of using my legs as a method of transportation over short distances is still a novelty.  Word of advice to whomever may be reading (don’t worry, I am realistic.  I know no one reads this shit.lol).  There are only three sorts of places to live; middle of nowhere, small town, or big city.  The suburbs are where originality, fun, and excite go to die.  Back to the topic at hand, I have had so much fun exploring the neighborhood over the last few months.  A good neighborhood can make all the difference.  Beijing has the worst traffic in the world, they most delayed airport, and the smog is taking years off my life, but that doesn’t matter so much when fun and excitement are right outside your door.  Remember, they aren’t paying me to say these things.  However, if a representative for the area would like to compensate my unintentional sales plug, please don’t hesitate. 

Reading Your Way through Winter

I know that it has been a while since I last wrote, but no one reads this thing anyway.  Over the last few months, I did some traveling, moved apartments, and applied for graduate schools.  I also became addicted to reading over the last few months.  Pathetically, I plan my social and lunch schedules around reading, but everybody has got to have a hobby.  I finished the fifth Dune book last night.  It is quite good, especially considering the travesty that was God Emperor of Dune.  Read that one a few years ago.  It was so boring that it took me years to get the resolve to read this one.  Frank Herbert is really philosophical in this one as the Bene Gesserit attempt to continue humanity’s journey down the “Golden Path”.  I am still not entirely certain what this “Golden Path” is, but the jist of it is keeping humanity from destroying itself in a feudalistic future.  In this one, the citizens that scattered throughout the universe during the first four novels’ Imperial Age return to t 
he core systems.  Think of it like post-colonialism in space…with giant sandworms.  I know, I know….heavy stuff right?

 All this reading has resulted in some great literary finds and some disappointments.  After finishing Lonesome Dove, currently my favorite book ever, a few months ago, my grandfather warned me never to read the sequel, Streets of Laredo.  Long story short, I should have listened.  The first two thirds of the book are really amazing.  Who doesn’t want to read about Woodrow Call chasing outlaws across west Texas with an out-of-place railroad accountant from New York?  Sounds like a recipe for success, right?  However, the story shifts its emphasis to the relationship between Joey Garza, the outlaw who the railroad hirers Call to kill, and his mother.  I imagine the author gets a lot of hate mail for the book, but I say cut him some slack.  Yeah, the ending of the book is about as disappointing as your ice cream falling off the cone, but he did write Lonesome Dove.    

Jan Morris’s portrait of Hong Kong made for a great read.  It’s amazing how she/he (that’s right, the author had a sex change) managed to make the history of this former Crown Colony into a narrative driven pseudo-story.  Gotta give her props.  I like it so well that I loaned my copy to someone getting ready to visit the city.  There is a lot of interesting stuff in this one, and Morris does a reasonably good job analyzing China’s relationship with the world outside the Middle Kingdom.  Although this stanch Welsh republican’s presentation of contemporary China is a little too idealized for me.  She overlooks the effects of the Cultural Revolution Other than its effects on mainland immigration to Hong Kong.  Overall, the book proves another amazing work by the woman who gave us the Pax Britannica trilogy.