Trainspotting

Someone put in a request for a post about the Beijing subway system.  In keeping with the tradition of the Beijing subway, I decided to perpetually delay the post until now and then overcrowd it with meaningless opinion.  I don’t hide my contempt for the Beijing metro very well.  You can tell a lot about a city by its mass transit lines.  For example, New York’s system is brilliantly designed and executed, but terribly maintained, and Chicago’s has so much character, but leaves massive sections of west and south Chicago untouched.  Beijing’s shows the world how quickly the Chinese like to build things without really thinking about the future. 

Back in the day as a young, idealistic Hoosier, I loved visiting cities with rapid transit systems.  The idea of reading a book during my commute seemed like a wonderful alternative to spending time alone behind the wheel.  New York, London, Chicago, and Paris represented opportunities for more centralized living that didn’t require four wheels, a driver’s license, and expensive trips to the gas station.  Beijing turned this dream into a nightmare. 

Beijing Subway 2013

Alright, I am over exaggerating a little.  There are a lot of great things about living in this city.  However, the subway certainly doesn’t make the list.  As a result, the rest of this post will come off a little negative.  For one, the system is massive and constantly expanding.  Beijing added several new stations just last month, extending Line 8 into the center of the city.  Line 10 alone features 42 stations and is the world’s largest subway loop.  Line 14, stretching from the city’s southwest corner to Wangjing in the north east, is expected to be completed in the near future. 

All of these lines and stations should make zipping around the city a breeze, unless you want to go in a direction that isn’t east-west or north-south.  As of yet, the Beijing metro doesn’t have any lines crisscrossing the city, leading commuters to make multiple transfers at already crowded stations. 

In terms of ridership, Beijing now ranks as the second most ridden subway system in the world in terms of number of passenger trips, behind Seoul.  A very impressive feat considering the Seoul subway has much large trains with more cars per train.  As a result, the Beijing subway feels infinitely more crowded than its companion in the ROK’s capital.

Beijing Subway 2008

I am no engineer, but whoever designed the thing was definitely looking to cut some corners.  No express lines, malfunctioning ticket machines, and security checks make sure that ever commute is an unhappy one.  That’s right folks; you have to go through an airport security check every time you ride the subway here.  However, the “thoroughness” (I use this term very, very loosely) of the check ironically leaves with an insecure feeling.  I hold the belief that these bag scanning machines only exist to control traffic flow and keep people employed.  Refuse to submit to the security check, and they’ll simply let you walk on through.  (I haven’t done this, but I see people do it all the time).       

The metro does possess a redeeming quality.  Some of the monitors in the stations and trains show cartoons.  Most are safety videos where the characters get into some unsafe situations.  They can be funny, both intentionally and unintentionally.  The poor production values go a long way for comedic effect.  The best part of the subway is the episodes of Shaun the Sheep they sometimes play on Line 5.  As you might guess, Shaun is a sheep who lives on a farm with a group of other animals.  It’s made by the same people who brought us Wallace and Gromit.  Let’s just say I have missed a few trains because I couldn’t stop watching Shaun’s Claymation shenanigans.  I like the sheepdog the best.  His hat is legit.  Whenever my commute becomes too stressful, I take a cue from the farmer in Shaun the Sheep and just pretend that I am oblivious to everything around me.  Another important life lesson learned from children’s cartoons.     

Priceless Comedy Gold