Xi's All That

The Chinese Communist Party just wrapped its 19th Party Congress.  Twice each decade, China's rubber stamp parliament meets to sing its own praises.  Unsurprisingly, cadres read out of new hymnals provided by Xi Jinping.  It should surprise no one that Xi further consolidated his power at this event.  Here are a few interesting and/or important takeaways from the event.       

XI IS ON TOP
A new politburo standing committee (PSG) was named.  However, it didn't include a clear successor for Xi Jinping.  I've seen many click-bait articles speculating that this is the first important signal that Xi Jinping plans to hold the reigns of power past his expected retirement date.  Without a doubt, this was the biggest news from the event.  The regime famously fears government instability caused by top officials suddenly passing away (a la the Soviet Union in the early to mid-eighties).  Xi staying in power past 2022 would show a major shift in the party's priorities.             

House of Cards...China
Style 

WANG IS OUT
Many expected that China's anti-corruption tsar, Wang Qishan, might break with tradition and stay on the PSG despite reaching the customary retirement age.  This didn't happen.  Seen as a fiercely strong ally of Xi, Wang had the added benefit of not having children.  Too bad Wang's favorite TV show, House of Cards, probably won't release a new season anytime soon.

LONG SPEECHES AND CONSTITUTIONAL CHANGES
Xi gave a  3 hour and 24 minute speech.  The communist party wrote Xi Jinping thought into the Chinese Communist Party's Constitution.  Past leaders have had their political philosophies enshrined in the party's constitution.  However, unlike Deng, Hu, and Jiang, Xi's political philosophy had his name attached during his lifetime.      

It's the fine print that'll get ya...

JIANG STEALS THE SHOW
Xi Jinping might have given the keynote speech, but China's former leader Jiang Zemin stole the show.  Images of Jiang yawning during Xi's public speaking marathon lit Chinese social media on fire.  Like a student on the last day of school, Jiang incessantly checked his watch.  The 91 year-old used his now iconic magnifying glass to great effect during Xi's speech.  Expect this make and model of magnifying glass to rocket up the sales charts this Singles Day (11/11).  I have already purchased mine on Taobao.     

Mardi Gras: Made in China

Mardi Gras: Made in China is a documentary about the manufacturing of the celebration's ubiquitous, plastic beads.  The crew journeys to China's Fuzhou city in Fujian Provience and documents the manufacturing of the beads in a massive, walled factory.  The crew then travels to New Orleans during Mardi Gras, recording the beads at the end of their life cycle.  

Movie Cover

At the factory, the crew interviews many of the labors who work 12 hours a day making the necklaces, doubloons, and even plastic penises that get thrown to the crowds every year.  Unsurprisingly the conditions at the factory aren't good.  But what really makes life so terrible is the restrictions the factory puts on its employees personal lives.  Employees can be fined an entire day's wages for talking during working hours.  Also, employees can only leave the prison-like factory on Sundays.  The other six days of the week they must spend all their non-working time in the compound.

On the other hand, the owner of the factory lives large on $2 million a year, producing items for the Krewe of Tucks.  He was born in Mainland China but went to Hong Kong as a child.  He returned to China to open the factory after the initiation of economic reforms.  This isn't surprising considering the communist party opened China to Chinese from Taiwan and Hong Kong as a way to bind them closer to the mainland and use the experience and expertise of other "Chinese" to rebuild the country following communism.  Think FoxConn but on a much smaller level.

The Factory Owner

Back in New Orleans, the beads are tossed off the sides of floats.  Some make it to the spectators while others simply fall on the ground, staying exactly where they land.  At the end of the partying, most are just thrown away.  During and after Mardi Gras signs advertising bead recycling centers are posted in public places.  Apparently the beads have a high content of lead which seeps into the groundwater.  The documentary shows the bulldozers that roll down St. Charles Ave. cleaning up the beads after each parade.

I am no sandle wearing hippie, but it's an enormous amount of waste.  The documentary really doesn't do it justice.  Each night bulldozers and workmen travel down the Avenue scooping up the beads.  It's troubling to see how many of the beads don't even make it to the spectators, simply falling onto the ground.  They become trash the instant they get thrown over the sides of the floats.  I am not an innocent party in this either.  Last year I rode on float.  By the end of the parade I had tossed bags of beads without the slightest thought about where they came from or where they would end up.

Beads Everywhere!

Don't get me wrong, I love Mardi Gras, but the waste resulting from the cheap trinkets really troubles me.  That's why I snatched this documentary off the library shelves the second I laid eyes on it.  I hope that one of the Mardi Gras krewes "goes green" in the future and realizes the economic and environmental problems this worthless crap causes.  But with krewes that have mottos like "throw until it hurts," its likely that this tradition won't die easily.  

Blue Girl Beer: Hong Kong's Iconic Brew

No trip to Hong Kong would be complete without heading to Club 7-11 for a can of Blue Girl beer.  The stuff is ubiquitous in Hong Kong.  It's sold in every convenience

 store and some restaurants even feature the logo on their signs.  For me, the beer has become a sort of representation of Hong Kong, especially considering that I have never seen it anywhere else.  According to the always reliable source of Wikipedia, the beer is brewed by a South Korean company.  However, the story of how it became such an ingrained part of Hong Kong culture is beyond me.

Blue Girl stacked in a
restaurant window

Most Chinese restaurants in the city carry the beer.  In the fishing village of Tai O on Lantau Island you can see boxes of Blue Girl stacked to the ceiling in some places.  I wouldn't be surprised to find out that the beer is more prevalent than bottled water in some parts of the city.  Blue Girl has that wonderful, easy-to-drink flavor that makes these kind of beers perfect for drinking with food.  No trip for dim sum in Hong Kong would be complete without having at least 1 (or a few) Blue Girl beers.  

Advertisements abound

It's interesting to think about how a brand can represent a specific place and/or time.  As I wonder around New Orleans, I constantly find old Dixie Beer advertisements plastered on the sides of buildings or on bar signs.  For those unfamiliar with Dixie Beer, it used to be the New Orleans equivalent of Budweiser or Miller Lite before the brewery was destroyed in Hurricane Katrina.  Following the closure of the Jax and Falstaff breweries, Dixie had a large portion of the local beer market until 2005.  The beer is still available, but it is now contract-brewed in Wisconsin.  Also, the price now places it in the "craft beer" category.  No longer the cheap, local option, Dixie has slipped from its place in the psyche of the city.  However, it's brand identity still remains strong.  Even today, despite its relatively hefty price tag, you'll still see people at restaurants chowing down on crawfish with a Dixie Beer in hand.  

So the next time you're in Hong Kong, head over to Club 7-11 and pick yourself up a Blue Girl beer.  Your trip isn't complete without one!  

Please post in the comments section if you have any information on this Blue Girl beer's history.  

Noble House

Cover from an old
edition

For the last month and a half, I have trudged through the task of reading James Clavell's Noble House.  The book is fantastic and that's quite possibly the understatement of the century.  I say "trudged" only because the book's length makes it a daunting task for any reader.  After a month and a half of reading, I am only on page 1010 out of 1400.  That makes it over 200 pages longer than Clavell's more famous behemoth, Shogun.  Even for an avid reader like myself, reading a book longer than many series can be a labor of love.

The book is a direct sequel to Clavell's Taipan, one of my favorite books from last year.  Set over the course of only one week in 1963, the book chronicles the intrigue surrounding Hong Kong's Noble House and its current enigmatic leader, Ian Dunross.  The excitement hasn't let up since the prologue where an illegal shipment of jet engines, bound for Red China, sinks in a storm at the very same moment Dunross is sworn in as the new Taipan (leader) of the Noble House.

From the TV miniseries, starring
Pierce Brosnon

Though no one will ever accuse me of sharing Clavell's belief in a benign China, buried by its Soviet neighbor, he writes about Chinese characters in a way no other waiguo author does, explaining cultural differences accurately and with an unflinching and unapologetic eye.  Today most would probably call his representations of Chinese characters as something less than PC.  However, I find them to be spot on, and I think he does a wonderful job of falling into the trap of a homogenous Asian continent.  Also the fact he is not Chinese eliminates the point most readers pounce on when reading Chinese books.  Many readers try to attribute baffling cultural differences or inconsistencies to translation errors, a point no one can make against Clavell.

I think the wonderful job Clavell does making the motivations and characteristics of Asian societies different from their "western" counterparts has certainly played an important role with how I have enjoyed his work.  I was unable to finish Shogun because I found it monotonous and boring, though comfortable and quaint.  The Japanese lust for power for the sake of status made the Japanese characters seem difficult to analyze.  They were just too different and difficult for me to relate to them.  However, I have loved both of Clavell's books that are set in Hong Kong for the very opposite reason.  My familiarity with Chinese culture has made the book interesting, funny, and tragic in ways that would have went over my head only a few years ago.

Despite my apprehensions about Shogun (that no one else seems to share), Clavell has proven himself to be a wonderful window onto Asia for the wider world.

Unintentional Propaganda and Chinese Films

Take a look and Chinese video streaming sites and you'll notice something about the international films.  Sites like Sohu and Youku feature many big budget Hollywood movies from the past several decades.  Nearly all of movies from foreign countries violate China's mysterious film code in some way, such as containing strong violence, nudity, or cursing.  So why do some films get passed the censors while others are kept out.  These films always convey a message that reinforces party doctrine or portray their respective country of origin in a negative light.  Basically they serve as unintentional propaganda.    

Many of the films, documentaries, and television shows produced in the United States and elsewhere get used in China as propaganda.  Some examine social and economic problems in the United States.  Shows like House of Cards have become very popular with the well-educated in China due to their high production value and their discussion of topics taboo in China.  Of course having a show in China that focused on lying and cheating by government officials would never see the light of day.  The effect of these shows/films is threefold.  They make US officials look corrupt and incompetent.  The films and shows make the United States seem unsafe.  And finally they make the US seem unstable.

The importation of these forms of entertainment due result in some uncomfortable questions for the CPC regarding why China censors its domestic entertainment so rigorously, but doesn't seem to care what's imported into the country.  A big controversy arose a few months ago when a drama set in the Forbidden City needed to have scenes of some cleavage removed.  That's right, they cut cleavage, but a foreign film with countless deaths will usually make it through the censors as long as the message fits the mold or part of the production is in some way linked to China.

People in China clamor over themselves to pack into movie theaters and see American blockbusters.  Most non-animated movies aren't translated, forcing the audiences to read subtitles.  Despite the subtitles, people still come in droves.  Of the 10 highest grossing films in China, 6 are American blockbusters released in the last 8 years.  After living here for two years, I can't blame Chinese audiences for flocking to foreign films, American films in particular.  American blockbuster, with their plethora of explosions, mean that audiences don't need to understand every word of the dialogue to follow the plot.

You have three main choices when choosing a Chinese television show or movie; fighting the Japanese, fighting the Nationalists, or a new retelling of Journey to the West.

  

  

China's Addiction to Remembering the Opium Wars

China's fixation on the Opium Wars are the cornerstone on which the foundation of the Communist Party of China's legitimacy rests.  When you go visit the gargantuan National Museum of China on the east edge of Tiananmen Square, the section on modern Chinese history begins with the first Opium War in the 1840's.  So began China's century of humiliation at the hands of foreign imperialist, ending after "liberation" by the communists at the end of the civil war.  At least this is how the story goes in China today.

Of course the two wars between Britain and China did happen, and yes they were fought over British efforts to import opium into China, this fact no one disputes.  China's historians historical narrative differs from the wider world's regarding why the Chinese military and state failed so spectacularly during the wars.  The principal differences between Chinese and non-Chinese historical writings about the war are Chinese historians' efforts to dance around several key issues; bureaucratic mishandling of resources, military discipline, and the loyalty of average Chinese subjects (or average Zhou's if you prefer).

I know it will sound terrible, but I found stories about imperial bumbling of the wars incredibly entertaining at least for the first Opium War.  All the Chinese commanders, including at one point a 15-year old boy, seem so preoccupied with not having their heads chopped off that they falsify dispatches of incredible victories for the emperor, all while while their junks are literally blown out of the water.  Yes even 175 years ago 差不多 accounts of personal accomplishments from Chinese males permeated the Chinese landscape.  Lovell's account of the second Opium War is considerably shorter, darker, and a much more decisive victory for the British and their allies French.

The last third of Lovell's book focuses on how the communists have used the Opium Wars to justify their rule since the party's inception, and how the party's interpretation is a complete facsimile of their adversaries who fled across the Taiwan Strait.  Note: Chairman Mao once served as the director of the Nationalist's propaganda department before a political purge.  Under successive dictatorships China's role in history went from China being its own worst enemy, to a backward nation colonized by all of the imperialist powers simultaneously.

The reason for this transition is simple.  The former meant focusing on systemic problems within Chinese society and how they exacerbated problems during the wars, turning them into debacles.  The latter just meant focusing on the idea of China as a backward country that needed a ruling force with a firm hand to guide it along the path to "development".  发展至上.  As a foreigner looking at China through my personal lens, the myth of the latter truly reigns supreme in government propaganda about the war.  

This month I finished both Lovell's impressive book The Opium War and Preston's less impressive The Boxer Rebellion.  Be on the lookout for a future post about Beijing's prominent role in the rebellion.               

Chinese Reads: Tai Pan

I am currently experiencing a Chinese phase of my life.  I live in China, I am learning Chinese (though unsuccessfully), and most of the books I read are about the Middle Kingdom.  Just last month I finished James Clavell's TaiPan, a story about a British trading firm during and after the first Opium War.  Unlike Clavell's other notable work, Shogun, I finished TaiPan and thoroughly enjoyed it.  Loyal readers may remember the blog post about me abandoning Shogun 800 pages into the book.  Despite Clavell writing TaiPan in the 60's, it reads like an allegory for today's China with its wonderful descriptions of cohongs and corruption.  The cohongs operated as middlemen between traders from Europe and America and the Chinese mainland.  All of the opium smugglers needed to partner with a cohong for the importation of opium to the Chinese mainland and the exportation of teas and silks.  Any sane person might ask I thought opium was illegal and the Europeans just forced it on the Chinese?  Yes opium was illegal, but the cohongs still oversaw the importation of the drug and made large sums of money from the practice.

The book highlighted two things in China that haven't changed in nearly 200 years.  Foreign enterprises still need to partner with Chinese middlemen when operating in the mainland.  The words the book using to describe this practice is "the squeeze".  Even back in the time of the emperors, China still placed lining the pockets of government ministers uber alles.  Today companies in certain industries, particularly anything relating to heavy manufacturing, must form a joint venture with a Chinese company, usually one of the state owned enterprises (SOE).  In industries that don't require many fixed costs or expertise, such as tech companies, foreign companies sometimes get locked out of China entirely.  Clavell's book shows this has been happening in China since before the "revolution".  

Not much different from
the cover of Shogun

The other harsh fact the book highlights is the absence of the rule of law.  China watchers might remember a few months back when every newspaper carried stories about President Xi's drive to foster the rule of law in China.  Then they realized this would be a bad thing of the party and the phrase "rule of law" disappeared about three weeks later.  Clavell uses the importation of opium to China to show us that the absence of the rule of law runs throughout Chinese history.  The Imperial Government made the importation of opium illegal and placed the Mandarins (government officials) in charge of enforcing the law.  Instead the Mandarins find a way to profit from importing the drug, regardless of the edicts from the emperor.

Though written decades ago, Clavell's novel reads like a tale of modern Chinese government and Chinese business practices.  He also does a wonderful job of showing why the tiny island of Hong Kong became so important for the Chinese people who went there for a better life.  As a teacher, I found the part about the cohong leader's efforts to have his son educated abroad particularly poignant.  Despite its nearly 800 page length, this book went by way to fast.  I recommend it for historical fiction buffs and anyone with an interest in China.     

CBA Shuffle: China's Professional Basketball League

The Xinjiang (far left) has some serious
traveling to away games

This week marked the beginning of the CBA finals between the Beijing Ducks and the Liaoning Flying Leopards.  Who knew leopards could fly, right?  The Chinese Basketball Association has gained a lot of traction on the relatively small Chinese sports circuit, particularly in Beijing.  The Chinese love a winner and the success for the capital's team over the past two seasons, they were champions last season, has done a great deal for a domestic league which is usually overshadowed by the much flasher NBA in America.  I've compiled just a few of the many reasons for groundswell of interest in the CBA.  Enjoy!

Suck it Liaoning.  Go Ducks

1.  NBA Star Power Doesn't Necessarily Equal Dominance - When it comes to sports, the Chinese love winners.  I've said it before and I'll say it again.  If you need evidence just look to the massive amount of Miami Heat gear thrown away in this country after Lebron left for Cleveland (Lebron 回来Cleveland).  Without a dominant team with a arrogant, charismatic player leading the league this season, the CBA has experienced heightened visibility this year.  With a more competitive field of teams this year relative to each other than the NBA, the race to the CBA finals remained a barnburner all season long.  It's refreshing to see a homegrown Chinese institution expand its base without the help of government protectionism.  

Marbury with a Chinese translation of his name

2.  Ex-NBA Players Adding an International Feel - Ex-NBA players keep creeping their way on to the rosters of CBA teams.  In a that guy is still around moment, Stephon Marbury is the current star player for the Ducks.  He was named one of Beijing's 10 Model Citizens this year, becoming the first foreigner to win (or be singled out for) the award.  He's even becoming something of a propaganda tool, staring in a musical about his own life.  That's right, sings and dances and everything.  Checkout the link below.  Foreigner players help bolster a domestic talent pool that honestly isn't very strong and give name recognition for foreigners with a passing interest in the league, such as myself.

http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/5-amazing-moments-from-stephon-marburys-chinese-musical-20141002

3.  National "Face" and Soccer Prowess - Ask most 18-49 males their favorite soccer team and 9 times out of 10 they will tell you some super successful European team.  Often the question is quickly followed by the statement that Chinese soccer teams aren't good enough.  China (people and government) simply hate the fact Chinese soccer hasn't developed into a global powerhouse.  The President of China recently announced a massive initiative aimed at improving the soccer fortune of the nation.  This attitude of course affects support for the domestic league.  For a number of reasons basketball is less affected by the lust for "face" on the national stage.  The CBA might not have the talent of the NBA or European soccer, but your average Zhou seems to care less about this fact in relation to basketball than soccer, and this has helped the league greatly over the period I have lived here.  

Some CBA Cheerleaders

Reason for My Person CBA Interest

The Pacers Terrible Season - The NBA has predictability and competitive parity problems.  There I said it.  It's basically been a foregone conclusion who'd win the conference championships during the last few years, and this has made me tune out as soon as the Pacers are out of the running.  Granted the league has been a lot more interesting this season than in years past, some teams still lord over the competition.  I stopped paying attention when I realized the Pacers season was over 5 minutes after it started.  The CBA gives me an opportunity to get my professional basketball fix without having to bandwagon onto some NBA during the playoffs, or support the NCAA.      

Professional Foreigner

Every laowai likely enjoys a few jobs as a professional foreigner during their time in China.  Thanks to some awesome guanxi (connections), I landed a gig as a judge at a national English competition for primary and middle school students.  All I needed to do was show up and judge how well the contestants spoke English.  My qualifications you ask?  Simply being a foreigner.  Yes, today The Laowai Times stoops to muckraking journalism about China's black market trade in foreigners for hire.

These kinds of jobs are nothing new here in China.  Almost everyone I meet here has a story about somewhere they appeared or something they did as a professional laowai.  For example I once got paid 1000 yuan ($166) for giving a speech at a prominent aviation engineering university.  I was barely older than the students, and I knew absolutely nothing about aviation or engineering.  My only qualification was that I am not Chinese.  The school didn't even give me a topic for the speech.  I could have chosen whatever the hell I wanted to talk about for an hour and a half.  I settled on "Cultural Awareness".  My speech ran spectacularly short, and I finished in an hour.

Tang Qi served as our Simon Cowell

During my time in China I have heard some good stories about foreigners for hire.  Someone once told me about their career in television, someone else about their tenure as a ceramics expert, and one guy I know hosted a news radio show on Chinese state radio.  Needless to say, it came as little surprise when I got the call up to the big leagues of professional English judging without even playing in the minors.  This isn't to say I didn't take it seriously.  One of the telling things about my judging experience was the fact that the other judges and I seemed to take the event more seriously than its organizers.

The gigantic hotel hosting the event had the North Korean atmosphere that many fancy places in China exude.  It sat on the edge of the mountains outside Beijing, magnificently adorned with gold and marble, and almost completely devoid of human life.  The actual judging of the event went well aside from one contestants meltdown from nerves.  I felt terrible for her.  She was doing fine and studdenly she just starting balling.  As many of my readers may know, I don't handle situations like this well.  Unluckily for our panel and the contestant, our female judge was also from Indiana and doesn't handle that kind of situation well either.

It has a banner.  You know it's legit.

Some of participants had intricately choreographed and well rehearsed routines.  One even did a standup comedy routine.  The difficult part was weeding out who had the best English and who had the pushiest parents.  This usually only took a simple question like what is you favorite color?.  No small task considering the stakes at the International English Elitist Tournament.  That's right.  Elitist.  Don't think they are using that word correctly, but I am just the judge.     

I enjoyed my lucrative stint as a judge on the Chinese equivalent of Toddlers and Tiaras.  The contestants were about 50/50 between those who actually wanted to be there and those whose parents forced them to participate.  As people in China continue scrambling to learn English, I hope to swing a few more of these jobs in the future.  Maybe I'll compete in the Chinese version of this contest someday.  I'll get working on my standup routine right away.

P.S. Enjoy these photos from Tang Qi and my trip to Tangshan for Chinese New Year.    

At the Tangshan Earthquake Memorial

Solo at the memorial

A USMC WWII veterans hat for sale at the
Tangshan mall

Me with the Spring Festival Gala on TV

Chilling with my Chinese Zodiac animal

Tang Qi getting in touch with her inner snake 

         

Chinese New Year or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Lunar Calender

Chinese New Year, CNY for the texters out there, is approaching fast.  Often referred to as Spring Festival, Lunar New Year, or Chunjie, this holiday has more names than Larry King has had wives.  It serves as the paramount holiday throughout most of East Asia, and many people around the world take the opportunity to light off a few roman candles.  I am in the process of getting hyped up for traveling, fireworks, and Chinese food, while mentally preparing myself for the 8 hours in front of the TV for this year's Spring Festival Gala.   Some good and not so good things make this holiday unique.  Luckily I plan to walk you through them and guide you to all the wonderful Spring Festival events, while steering clear of the pitfalls.

The Good

Temple Fairs - Temple Fairs are like giant garage sales that occur at temples during Spring Festival.  Usually they offer tacky souvenirs and fireworks at cut rate prices.  They also provide great opportunities to visit some of Beijing's lesser known temples.  Make sure to take the opportunity to practice your Chinese bargaining skills.

Boiled Dumplings

Food - The traditional meal for Chinese New Year is of course dumplings.  The boiled variety to be exact.  Making them with the family makes for a wonderful experience and cooks up a few precious memories.  However, eating them certainly is the highlight of the holiday's culinary adventures.  Fish is also a traditional meal around the holiday season, but I advise sticking with the dumplings.  They usually don't have bones like the fish.

Spring Festival Gala - Okay, Okay.  I know I made a joke about this earlier, but the Spring Festival Gala is an important part of any CNY celebration in Mainland China.  The world's most watched yearly TV program (take that Super Bowl), the Gala boasts an array of comedians, performers, and musicians.  Many of China's very important and recognizable celebrities make appearances.  The program is also notable for the first appearance of Canadian, Mandarin speaking sensation DaShan 大山.  I certainly enjoyed last year's Gala for the ironic performance of a dancing troop performing an interpretive dance about punishing land owners for China's elite and well-connected.

Canadian superstar Da Shan running with what appears to
be the Olympic Torch

Hongbao - Children receive red, money-filled envelopes for CNY from their relatives.  Called a Hong Bao, these envelopes contain money.  Now, I am a little old for Hong Baos, but I am keeping my fingers crossed that I might receive a Hongbao or two this holiday season.   

The Bad

Fireworks - I know setting off fireworks is fun, and the novelty of lighting off fireworks in their homeland is an opportunity not to be missed, but the fireworks really go overboard.  Expect a 6 a.m. wake up call consisting of cherry bombs and bottle rockets.  Also, be prepared for minimum regard for human health and safety.  Be careful out there people.  It's like a warzone.  

The Ugly

Recent incidents have made flying in China
unappealing.  Why not take the bus instead?

Travel - Traveling in China during Spring Festival is an absolute nightmare.  The government estimates that over 2 billion journeys will be undertaken during this year's season, so prepare for long waits, delays, and traffic jams.  On the upside, staying put has its advantages.  Beijing is largely deserted during Chinese New Year, giving the whole city the feeling of an episode of Life After People.  Last I even got a seat on Line 10 during the holiday season.  A feat unlikely to ever be repeated.

Chinese New Year represents the cultural Holy Grail for sinophiles looking to immerse themselves in Chinese culture.  A word of advice; make sure to set goals for yourself during the holiday season, so you don't spend everyday on the couch watching reruns.  This year I am hoping to step up my Mahjong game and become a serious contender.    

China's Obsession with the "Chubby Blue Guy"

Notice his trademark bell and pocket

He's a giant celebrity in Asia, particularly China.  Not bad considering the piss-poor state of Sino-Japanese relations.  He's been a staple of television for over 40 years and is merchandized on almost everything from pajamas to cellphone cases.  He's Doraemon.  The lovable, robotic cat from the 22nd century.  Usually known in China by his Chinese name, Xiao Ding Dang, Doraemon is loved by billions, that's right billions, of fans.

Though relatively unknown in the United States, Doraemon cartoons and comics have been a staple of the Asian continent since 1969.  Today he seems more popular than ever.  A visitor to the Chinese mainland might mistake him for a Chinese creation, because of the locals' massive love of all things Doraemon.  However, Doraeomon originated in the Land of the Rising Sun.  I found myself slightly disappointed to find the relative Japanese apathy towards their homegrown anime hero compared with the Chinese.

Karate Doraemon

An entire store dedicated to Doraemon exists just one block from my apartment.  Dubbed the "Doraeshop", this establishment sells every conceivable Doraemon product.  This robotic cat and his time machine pocket allow him to get into all kinds of wacky misadventures.  From his pocket, Doraemon pulls out an array of problem solving, and problem causing, gadgets to help his owner.  He also loves eating this Japanese pancake/pie thing.

Doraemon merchandise

However Doraemon is not without his distractors.  A Chinese newspaper recently told its readers that Doraemon was an attempt by the Japanese government to distract from its wartime atrocities.  It advised its readers to "beware the chubby blue guy".   Even the government knows that this robotic cat's charms are hard to resist.  Remember to beware the chubby blue guy.   

I'll spare you any longwinded discussions about the implications and meaning of this cartoon character regarding China and its image of itself.  When I asked my girlfriend what Doraemon meant to her and China she said just one word, "Childhood."

   

Bowled Over

Classic

It's an unassuming bowling alley.  It has lanes, bowling balls, and snacks just like any other.  The shoes still sport that characteristic bowling shoe appearance with the sizes on the back.  However, something important was missing.  Something every bowling alley has was conspicuously absent.  Then I realized that it was much easy to breathe than it should have been.

Me in action

Believe it or not, a bowling alley without the smell of smoke is a troubling thing.  The comfort you get from the smokey smell and your familiarity with it go a long way to making you feel safe.  When it isn't there, something just doesn't feel right.  My trip bowling the other night was a bit of a surreal experience.  After spending my morning watching the Colts get beat down by two guys that are the sports equivalent of Emperor Palpatine and Darth Vader (Belichick and Brady), I needed to blow off some steam at the lanes.  

Tang Qi ready to roll

Absolutely nothing in the alley gave any indication I was in China.  It was as if someone had picked up a bowling alley from suburban Indiana and dropped into the basement of a Dongzhimen building.  Even the measurements were in Imperial standard.  My shoes said size 11 instead of 46, and the balls proudly featured their weights in pounds instead of kilograms.  Everything was in English.  You often encounter this "copycat" phenomenon in China where their sole goal is to copy something so exactly from America that you can't tell the difference.  This concept certainly extends to the food here too.

Just like in America, it was a great way to spend a night out.  And just like in America, my bowling skills need work.  

In China, a good deal of socializing
is done with your phone

      

Tourist in Your Own Country

Roughing it seaside

Someone smart once said that you should never become a tour guide in your hometown.  Truer words were never spoken.  The tired, old places and things that have long sensed blended into the background of memory might make wonderful and exciting sights for a first time visitor.  By that logic, I probably wasn't the best tour guide for my girlfriend's first trip to the United States.  I made sure to mitigate her expectations before the trip.  She watches a lot of American TV shows, and I felt the need to prepare her for visiting the midwest.  She seemed disappointed when we had "the talk" about a week before we left for America.  Basically I told her Rachel and Ross lived in New York, which is tall, and we were going to Indiana which is very spread out.  I also made sure to stress the fact that unlike the entire cast of Friends, not all Americans are white and look alike (sometimes I get Ross and Joey and Phoebe and Rachel confused).  

Please don't feed the birds

At Naval Air Museum 

Classic jumping photo

The trip went well for a few reasons.  Most women like to shop.  It's sexist but true, and Indiana has some great outlet malls.  I owe my aunt a debt of gratitude for taking Tang Qi to the outlet mall so I didn't have to do it.  Tang Qi enjoyed meeting my family and learning the local dialect of English.  This was great for me.  It lessoned the financial burden on my wallet, and we didn't need to make expensive excursions to New York or Chicago.  However, I did reach a point during my family vacation to Florida when I priced airfare for an early return to China.  This feeling eventually lessened though never really passed, but Tang Qi had so much fun that I couldn't really have left even if I wanted to.  Our two day trip to visit New Orleans let us spend some time with the laid back part of the family and greatly reduced my stress levels.                

Everyone thinks they're a DJ

At Deanie's 

Pacer's Game

Classic Rosie

Another great tourist attraction was of course the food.  Despite my failed attempts at hyping American-Chinese food, she seemed to really like American food.  It was nice to finally lay the myth of homogenous American cuisine to bed.  While living in China, I have been constantly bombarded with Chinese culinary propaganda about the diversity of the food here.  Really it's about half true, but it's made me realize just how diverse the food in the United States is compared to other countries.  Tang Qi had a great time exploring the restaurants.  Her favorite was the oyster bar, imaginatively named Oyster Bar, we ate at in Pensacola, FL.  

Classic couple photo

French Quarter Highlight

Where are all the people?

America made for a great vacation destination, letting Tang Qi meet my family, explore somewhere new, and enjoy a slower pace of life.  I got my "freedom fix" by reading news that wasn't government propaganda, and I enjoyed the "American Renaissance" that I've missed out on while living in China.  Catching up with old friends was a great end to my trip to America.  Though my liver didn't really like the affordability of American bars.  

Getting on the right track

I always tell others that it's the people in a place that actually make it worth visiting.  The Grand Canyon is just a hole in the ground, the really interesting part is the Native Americans and others who call the area home.  New Orleans would just be a swamp below sea level if it didn't have the amazing Creole, French, Spanish, African, Cajun, and American culture that make it such a unique and vibrant melting pot.  And Indiana would just be a bunch of emptiness without the people who call it home.

     

     

Tomb Sweeping in Tangshan

I accompanied my girlfriend back to her hometown over the weekend, participating in the ancient Chinese tradition of "tomb sweeping".  While the actual holiday, "tomb sweeping day", is in April, we went to Tangshan for the anniversary of her grandmother's passing.  First a little background on the practice of tomb sweeping.  The main point is to honor your deceased relatives by giving them gifts for the afterlife and caring for their grave.  Part of the practice is literally sweeping the headstone of your relative, hence the name "tomb sweeping day".  Paper money, and occasionally clothes, are burned for relatives to receive in the afterlife.  This practice was very puzzling for me last year when I noticed a bunch of people burning stuff in the streets of Beijing.  No one told me about the practice, and I literally thought people were burning trash (Beijing's garbage collection services aren't so good).  Now I know better.

We traveled to the cemetery early in the morning.  Along the road to the cemetery venders sold various fake flower arrangements and the paper money (not really money).  Inside the cemetery were countless rows of graves buried military style.  The cemetery looks like an ancient Chinese palace and contrasts strikingly with the modern high-rises and factories of Tangshan.  Tangshan is sort of like the Pittsburgh of China and is home to the headquarters of the state steel company.  We walked to Tang Qi's grandmother's tomb and swept the headstone and did some bowing.  Afterwards, we filed through the cemetery to a row of ovens.  Each oven was represented by a animal of the Chinese zodiac.  A fire was promptly lit, and we began burning various forms of fake paper money to honor the deceased.  

The whole experience is eerily similar to western burial practices.  It sort of makes you realize there's a common sense aspect to honoring and burial of the deceased.  Obviously no photos were taken.              

From Beijing Without Love: The Hong Kong Protests

Protestors outside a government
building

You might be wondering how the Hong Kong protests are being covered in mainland China.  The short answer is that for the most part they aren't.  However, yesterday the party mouth piece, The People's Daily, published a front page editorial about the protests.  It's significance cannot be understated due to its prominence and reactionist tone.  Shortly after the protest began last weekend, people began to post news items on my We Chat feed (We Chat is the Chinese carbon copy of What's App).  It didn't take long before these were deleted by the state censors.  The "Great Firewall" is legendary, but Chinese censors have been forced to work overtime as mainlanders start to ask just what the Hell is going on in Hong Kong.  Unsurprisingly, the Chinese government suspended travel group trips to the territory a short time ago.  The South China Morning Post ran a great editorial cartoon about the suspension.

Love this cartoon

Rhetoric from the party and Beijing loyalist isn't surprising, calling the protests the product of foreign conspirators and chaotic.  The only words missing from the party's news coverage of the event and Tiananmen in 1989 is "counter-revolutionary".  The main argument of Beijing loyalists stems from the fact that Hong Kong didn't enjoy a form of representative democracy under the British.  This isn't entirely correct considering Hong Kong has a tradition of elected local assemblies.  I don't buy the argument because it rests on the assumption that something denied by one party should be continually denied by another, and that Beijing's election plan should be embraced because it is a slight improvement.  The only group the election plan pleases are those in power.  This shouldn't come as a surprise.  The week before the protests started, Chinese president Xi met with a group of notable Hong Kong billionaires, showing once and for all that the Communist Party of China isn't the party of revolution, but the establishment.

The last thing the Chinese ruling elite want right now are photos of young, umbrella holding students being tear gassed by the police, particularly during a slowing economy and political "corruption crackdown".  I am curious to see how the relationship between Hong Kong and the mainland affects the events.  Having worked and lived regularly with groups....let's just say the bitterness runs both ways across the border.  The days ahead will test the relationship between Hong Kong and the mainland politically and culturally.  I unabashedly support the protests.  I am proud to see a group stand up and demand their voices be heard.      

After living here for over a year, I have had several things repeated to me over and over again.  "The Chinese don't care about politics", "The Chinese people can't handle democracy", and "the Chinese people worry more about what they can buy than freedom" appear commonly at dinnertime political discussions.  I have heard these same phrases multiple times, always from wealthy, male Chinese who are well-connected with the party elite.  One even went as far as to try to tell me that it was racially ingrained into the Chinese to unquestionably obey their superiors.  The official stance of the party explicitly rebukes the idea of universal rights and the "western" style democracy.
These protests show this provincial, racist thinking doesn't hold water.  Now the same people who routinely say these lies must either admit the statements are untrue or that Hong Kong is fundamentally separate and different than the mainland, and it is highly unlikely they'll do the latter.