Spring Festival Gala: Propaganda or Entertainment?

I'll answer this questions up front and center, it's propaganda.  It's propaganda just barely entertaining enough to pass off as a television show.  Imagine Saturday Night Live, if it were run by the government in a dystopian future and emphasized the musical guests over the sketches.  In the run up to midnight this year, the gala included a 5 minute video about how great Xi Jinping is, finishing with a shot of China's aircraft carrier.  In Chinese the sailors on the flight deck said listen to the party and we will win this.  Though what the Hell they were talking about winning no one seems to know.  So instead of seeing a ball drop and a million people celebrate, you get to watch an overweight politician who looks like a cat shake hands.  But this is all most people know.  At least the ones who haven't traveled abroad.

Mr. Xi appeared in lots of stock images wearing
Mao suits

Many of the sketches feature famous Chinese comedians.  Many ambassadors also make pre-recorded appearances wishing viewers, "Happy New Year," usually in English.  After chatting with a friend and fellow English teacher over the weekend, I have come to the conclusion that the need for laowai approval is off-putting at best.  The Spring Festival Gala certainly embodies this need.  It seems the longer I live here the madder this self-imposed inferiority complex makes me.  It troubled me that the ambassadors didn't use their native languages to wish viewers a happy new year, instead speaking English.

This year's mascot.  There has been
much debate about whether this year's
animal in the Chinese Zodiac translates
into sheep, ram, or goat

Apparently many Chinese agree with me.  The South China Morning Post ran a story today about the response to the Gala on Weibo (Chinese Twitter).  Weibo users riticized the shows preaching about corruption.  Many people have told me that mocking the event on the social networking site has become something of a tradition in its own right.  I imagine its similar to people making fun of the Oscars, Superbowl, or Dick Clark's New Year's Rocking Eve.  However, no Chinese equivalent of "Left Shark" has appeared in the pop culture lexicon this year, at least not yet.

The Gala serves its purpose, giving us a reason to cluster around the television on a night best spent with family.  Yes it's glitzy propaganda with low production values, but sometimes its okay for things to be entertaining for the wrong reasons.  Where else can you see Beijing Opera and street dancing in uncomfortably close proximity.  Most of the sketches no one laughed at in our house, but that isn't really why we were watching it.

   

Smoking Clown Flower Delivery Service

The Sign

I thought I'd take the time to highlight some of Beijing's more unorthodox sights.  I'll start with one of my favorites.  Shortly after moving to Gulou I had my first encounter with this company.  I was nearly run over by a smoking clown on a three-wheeled motor bike.  Some first impression, am I right?  Little did I know that this would become a common occurrence during my time in Beijing.  My initial reaction was that IT had finally decided to come for me.  The realization of a terrible childhood fear that always made me wish I had asthma, so I could carry an inhaler.  Once I realized it wasn't in fact Tim Curry in a clown outfit, but a chain-smoking Chinese man, I got curious.  What?  Why?  Like so many of the weird things in China, no one seems to have a halfway decent answer to this question.  

Employees on a break

 For any honrary Beijinger, getting flowers delivered by a clown riding a giant duck isn't such an unusual gift.  Throw in the fact that the clown is almost always smoking and often looks clinically depressed, and you have a Beijing institution.  After almost getting run over that day, I started to see the ubiquitous duck everywhere, cruising the hutongs of central Beijing.  The duck also played on another of my childhood fears, resembling the Penguin's preferred mode of transportation in Batman Returns.  Between psychotic clowns from the Macro-verse and Batman super villains, this company packs enough punch to traumatize even the most well adjusted six year old.       

Getting ready to wreak havoc
on Gotham City

 I really want to hear the sales pitch the founder of this company to investors.  So, we will deliver the flowers in a giant motorized duck, and we will dress our employees as a clowns.  To some people it might sound like the kind of outside-the-box thinking that made Apple a global powerhouse.  However, I remain skeptical.  It has been successful enough to open another location.  That's right.  There are at least two locations of Smoking Clown Flower Delivery Service that this humble blogger knows about in the Beijing area, proving the power of Apple's slogan, Think Different.  And proving maybe no one, especially me, can predict the crazy stuff Chinese consumers will spend their money on.      

      

Chinese New Year or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Lunar Calender

Chinese New Year, CNY for the texters out there, is approaching fast.  Often referred to as Spring Festival, Lunar New Year, or Chunjie, this holiday has more names than Larry King has had wives.  It serves as the paramount holiday throughout most of East Asia, and many people around the world take the opportunity to light off a few roman candles.  I am in the process of getting hyped up for traveling, fireworks, and Chinese food, while mentally preparing myself for the 8 hours in front of the TV for this year's Spring Festival Gala.   Some good and not so good things make this holiday unique.  Luckily I plan to walk you through them and guide you to all the wonderful Spring Festival events, while steering clear of the pitfalls.

The Good

Temple Fairs - Temple Fairs are like giant garage sales that occur at temples during Spring Festival.  Usually they offer tacky souvenirs and fireworks at cut rate prices.  They also provide great opportunities to visit some of Beijing's lesser known temples.  Make sure to take the opportunity to practice your Chinese bargaining skills.

Boiled Dumplings

Food - The traditional meal for Chinese New Year is of course dumplings.  The boiled variety to be exact.  Making them with the family makes for a wonderful experience and cooks up a few precious memories.  However, eating them certainly is the highlight of the holiday's culinary adventures.  Fish is also a traditional meal around the holiday season, but I advise sticking with the dumplings.  They usually don't have bones like the fish.

Spring Festival Gala - Okay, Okay.  I know I made a joke about this earlier, but the Spring Festival Gala is an important part of any CNY celebration in Mainland China.  The world's most watched yearly TV program (take that Super Bowl), the Gala boasts an array of comedians, performers, and musicians.  Many of China's very important and recognizable celebrities make appearances.  The program is also notable for the first appearance of Canadian, Mandarin speaking sensation DaShan 大山.  I certainly enjoyed last year's Gala for the ironic performance of a dancing troop performing an interpretive dance about punishing land owners for China's elite and well-connected.

Canadian superstar Da Shan running with what appears to
be the Olympic Torch

Hongbao - Children receive red, money-filled envelopes for CNY from their relatives.  Called a Hong Bao, these envelopes contain money.  Now, I am a little old for Hong Baos, but I am keeping my fingers crossed that I might receive a Hongbao or two this holiday season.   

The Bad

Fireworks - I know setting off fireworks is fun, and the novelty of lighting off fireworks in their homeland is an opportunity not to be missed, but the fireworks really go overboard.  Expect a 6 a.m. wake up call consisting of cherry bombs and bottle rockets.  Also, be prepared for minimum regard for human health and safety.  Be careful out there people.  It's like a warzone.  

The Ugly

Recent incidents have made flying in China
unappealing.  Why not take the bus instead?

Travel - Traveling in China during Spring Festival is an absolute nightmare.  The government estimates that over 2 billion journeys will be undertaken during this year's season, so prepare for long waits, delays, and traffic jams.  On the upside, staying put has its advantages.  Beijing is largely deserted during Chinese New Year, giving the whole city the feeling of an episode of Life After People.  Last I even got a seat on Line 10 during the holiday season.  A feat unlikely to ever be repeated.

Chinese New Year represents the cultural Holy Grail for sinophiles looking to immerse themselves in Chinese culture.  A word of advice; make sure to set goals for yourself during the holiday season, so you don't spend everyday on the couch watching reruns.  This year I am hoping to step up my Mahjong game and become a serious contender.    

Radio Free China

During my time in China I have learned to love podcasts.  Everywhere in this city takes roughly an hour to get to by mass transit.  Initially this resulted in some strain in the relationship between my Ipod and I.  With so much of my time spent traveling from one destination to another, my music library started to seem very small.  I felt like I was hearing the same 2,000 songs over and over.  This of course was because I was hearing the same 2,000 songs over and over.  While 2,000 songs might seem like a lot, try listening to them on shuffle everyday for three hours.  Factor in that there are about 200 songs I don't really like that much and usually skip.

That's where the podcasts come in.  I never boarded the podcast train back in the United States.  It seemed like a fringe culture for techies, listening to shows about computers and coding.  I started with news podcasts which seem to be most people's gateway drug to the podcast subculture.  Suddenly I realized I could find podcasts about things that interested me, such as baseball and international business.  Then I started hitting the hard stuff when I moved over to NPR podcasts.

Before getting hooked on NPR podcasts, my opinion of National Public Radio had as much to do with boredom as radio programs.  The mental images conjured by stories of Lake Wobagen didn't really perk my interests, in fact they did just the opposite.  I now know the error of my ways.  NPR shows might be boring to listen to while driving in a car, but they are perfect for my commute based around foot and rail transportation.

My favorite NPR podcast is a show called Snap Judgment.  The program consists of three to five short stories, usually performed by their writers.  I now find myself eagerly waiting for episodes.  I am also really enjoying NPR's news related game shows, such as Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me and Ask Me Another.  It's fair to say I'll be donating during this year's Pledge Drive.  I am shooting for the mug with an optional tote bag.

Note: This blog post was made possible by readers like you.  

China's Obsession with the "Chubby Blue Guy"

Notice his trademark bell and pocket

He's a giant celebrity in Asia, particularly China.  Not bad considering the piss-poor state of Sino-Japanese relations.  He's been a staple of television for over 40 years and is merchandized on almost everything from pajamas to cellphone cases.  He's Doraemon.  The lovable, robotic cat from the 22nd century.  Usually known in China by his Chinese name, Xiao Ding Dang, Doraemon is loved by billions, that's right billions, of fans.

Though relatively unknown in the United States, Doraemon cartoons and comics have been a staple of the Asian continent since 1969.  Today he seems more popular than ever.  A visitor to the Chinese mainland might mistake him for a Chinese creation, because of the locals' massive love of all things Doraemon.  However, Doraeomon originated in the Land of the Rising Sun.  I found myself slightly disappointed to find the relative Japanese apathy towards their homegrown anime hero compared with the Chinese.

Karate Doraemon

An entire store dedicated to Doraemon exists just one block from my apartment.  Dubbed the "Doraeshop", this establishment sells every conceivable Doraemon product.  This robotic cat and his time machine pocket allow him to get into all kinds of wacky misadventures.  From his pocket, Doraemon pulls out an array of problem solving, and problem causing, gadgets to help his owner.  He also loves eating this Japanese pancake/pie thing.

Doraemon merchandise

However Doraemon is not without his distractors.  A Chinese newspaper recently told its readers that Doraemon was an attempt by the Japanese government to distract from its wartime atrocities.  It advised its readers to "beware the chubby blue guy".   Even the government knows that this robotic cat's charms are hard to resist.  Remember to beware the chubby blue guy.   

I'll spare you any longwinded discussions about the implications and meaning of this cartoon character regarding China and its image of itself.  When I asked my girlfriend what Doraemon meant to her and China she said just one word, "Childhood."

   

Drum and Bell Towers

Obligatory Selfies (Drum Tower)

Bell Tower

It's amazing the things you'll put off because you are so close.  I live just down the street from two of Beijing's most important landmarks, and due to a combination of laziness and restorations, I haven't ever been inside of them.  Yesterday was a beautiful day so I decided to checkout the Drum and Bell Towers and see what they had to offer.    

The two towers lie on Beijing's north-south central axis with the Bell Tower directly north of the larger Drum Tower.  The axis continues south to Jingshan Park, the Forbidden City, Mao's Mausoleum, and the Qianmen Gate.  The two towers were in charge of keeping time in the capital until the 1920's (Republican Era).

Drum Tower at ground level

Bell Tower from the square between
the two towers

Drum Tower as seen from the Bell Tower

Story about the casting of the bell

Between is a newly renovated square.  The square has been the focal point of some controversy during recent months.  Originally shops and restaurants lined the square, including the Beijing institution the Drum and Bell Coffee Shop.  When the local government decided to renovate the squares, these businesses were closed or relocated to other parts of the city.  Now the square is completely surrounded by grey brick walls with a few holes cut in them serving as entrances to the local hutong neighborhoods.  

It's important to go on a clear day.  Almost nothing can be seen from the towers on a smoggy day.  However, on clear days the views are spectacular.  Some tourists spend a week in the capital without realizing Beijing is surrounded by mountains on its Northern and Western sides.  A trip to the towers offers some great views of these mountains.    

Stairs in the Drum Tower

Notice the Mountains in the distance

The Bell is made of bronze according to the signs in the tower.  Notice the picture of Beijing's favorite tour guide preparing for the tolling of the bell.  

The Drum Tower has a drum demonstration show several times a day.  I recommend it.  It's free and very informative.  The center drum is the largest (center), and it's partnered with several smaller drums.  The performance lasts about five minutes. 

The Drum and Bell Towers are in central Beijing.  The central part of the city has height restrictions on new construction.  Outside the Second Ring Road buildings are much tower.  This results in the decentralized nature of the Beijing cityscape.  Please enjoy these photos and understand that it is next to impossible to arrange this many photos on Blogger effectively.

Local tour guide protecting ears

Cat inside the security area.  Notice his camouflage vest,
making him difficult to spot in his nature habitat

Bell and that thing that hits the bell

Looking south of the bell tower to Jinshan Park.
The street is 鼓楼南大街

Frozen Houhai lake with ice skaters

Me on top of the Drum Tower

The namesakes of the Drum Tower

Section at the top of the Drum Tower

South east Beijing from the Drum Tower.  Notice the short
buildings of the old city contrasted with the taller buildings
outside the Second Ring Road

Bowled Over

Classic

It's an unassuming bowling alley.  It has lanes, bowling balls, and snacks just like any other.  The shoes still sport that characteristic bowling shoe appearance with the sizes on the back.  However, something important was missing.  Something every bowling alley has was conspicuously absent.  Then I realized that it was much easy to breathe than it should have been.

Me in action

Believe it or not, a bowling alley without the smell of smoke is a troubling thing.  The comfort you get from the smokey smell and your familiarity with it go a long way to making you feel safe.  When it isn't there, something just doesn't feel right.  My trip bowling the other night was a bit of a surreal experience.  After spending my morning watching the Colts get beat down by two guys that are the sports equivalent of Emperor Palpatine and Darth Vader (Belichick and Brady), I needed to blow off some steam at the lanes.  

Tang Qi ready to roll

Absolutely nothing in the alley gave any indication I was in China.  It was as if someone had picked up a bowling alley from suburban Indiana and dropped into the basement of a Dongzhimen building.  Even the measurements were in Imperial standard.  My shoes said size 11 instead of 46, and the balls proudly featured their weights in pounds instead of kilograms.  Everything was in English.  You often encounter this "copycat" phenomenon in China where their sole goal is to copy something so exactly from America that you can't tell the difference.  This concept certainly extends to the food here too.

Just like in America, it was a great way to spend a night out.  And just like in America, my bowling skills need work.  

In China, a good deal of socializing
is done with your phone